This has been a long time coming.
I know Spring is approaching, and I should probably lay off, but this has irked—maybe bugged is more apt—me for years now. When did it become acceptable to wear flip-flops year round? More to the point, when did the shoe become so popular?
Having worked on college campuses for the past seven years, I’ve seen more than enough busted toes and heard too much of that incessant flip-flap-flack noise( If there’s a worse sound than popping gum or nails on a chalkboard, it’s the rapping of those damn flip-flops). I’m not that old, but I vaguely remember a time when flip flops weren’t the footwear du juor. I remember when kids would get their Jordans roughed from them after school, when the punks, the goths and the moshers stomped the concrete with Doc Martens, when Reebok was still a viable shoe company and nobody dared wear shell toes with laces. But I guess I’m out of the loop now. Now it’s nearly high fashion to walk around with a flimsy rubber strap tangled between stubby digits, topped with yellowing cracked nails and sunburned to a hot dog red. From where I sit, there’s nothing worse than seeing those little piglets twist and tangle and bend (because of course no one wearing flip-flops can ever keep their feet still) and reveal those grimy, dirt encrusted feet bottoms, stained dirt black from repeated wears and less frequent washings. These days nothing turns my stomach more than the sight of dirty, crusty, grimy feet flittering between that rubber strap.
I guess it’s my fault for being overly observant, but I can’t help but notice when the majority of the kids—at least 7 out of ten--I pass on my way lunch have their gross tootsies dangling and twisting for all the world to see. I mean when did feet even become attractive. Just the other day, I’m watching Family Feud and one of the questions was: What do people say is the least attractive body part? Guess the answer, I dare you. Feet! That’s right a majority of surveyed Americans claimed that feet were the least attractive body part. Yet as soon as the sun breaks the clouds, out come the flappers. It doesn’t even have to be warm. I’ve seen kids wearing flip-flops in 20 degree weather. With Snow on the ground. And Ice falling from the heavens. Tell me, what would possess anyone with a shred of common sense to “rock” a pair of flip-flops in January.
Surely, those brave foot soldiers who defy mother nature must know something I don’t. Maybe it’s my pedigree. As a black male, one’s rep suffers ostensibly if caught rocking Abercrombie & Fitch’s latest sandal (for those that remember, remember poor Jay-Z, who was harassed mercilessly by Cam’ron for wearing chancletas.) Add to that, the fact that shoes have been a source of pride for many people (male, female, black, white, brown or otherwise) for years. Bearing that in mind, it really makes you think: Do people who wear flip-flops just not care? Are they too lazy to reach beyond the closest shoe they can put their hands on and actually consider a shoe that suits their outfit or the weather? Honestly, I can’t place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the foot soldiers.
I blame three culprits: mob mentality, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Global Warming. Mob mentality because apparently some people can’t think for themselves and use that scant bit of common sense to think, “Geez, it’s raining and it’s 20 below. Maybe, just maybe, I should leave the flip flops in the closet.” Let me tell you something folks, just because your roommate, classmate, and TA are wearing flip flops because they saw the sun shine on a frigid February morning doesn’t mean you should dust of the thongs. Try assessing the situation for yourself, your feet will thank you. I blame Abercrombie & Fitch for pioneering this whole “beach style” that’s popular with the kiddies now. I’m a city kid, to me the beach is nice two weekends out of the year, Labor day and Memorial Day. Outside of the summer holidays, I’ve got no place dressing like a So Cal surfer in the dead of November. And I’m not going to let some corporate sanctioned “counter culture” retailer force me to believe that summer is truly endless, no matter how strong the perfume is that wafts from those over-stylized huts they call store fronts. Finally, this isn’t a blame, but more of a confirmation, I recognize Global Warming. Yes the Earth is hotter and it’s all our fault, now let’s go celebrate by dressing like we live in Maui. As nice as summer is, I still enjoy four seasons and I’m not going to live in denial by dressing for summer year round. Global Warming does not equal endless summer, it does mean that weather patterns have changed globally. But just because weather patterns have changed it doesn’t mean that summer won, and there will be no other seasons. It means we should realize that sometimes it’ll be warm in the winter, not warm enough for flip-flops and board shorts, but warmer than average. It means that occasionally it’ll be chilly in early May, it doesn’t mean, “screw the wind-chill and the rainstorms, my feet need to breathe.” I’m going to assume that most people are reasonably intelligent, so I ask this: Think before you slap on a pair of flip-flops, the world, my ears and my stomach (the one that turns at the sight of dirty crusty feet) will thank you.
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